Date: 06/28	8:00 PM
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Gimme a hell yeah! Damn it feels good to be doing this again. Raw opens with a recap of the end of last week's show, then cuts to Cole and King who inform us that there will be no update on the condition of Vince McMahon, as the McMahon family is not revealing anything. Wade Barrett is meeting with WWE officials on the future of the group now officially known as "Nexus".

The WWE Champion Sheamus makes his way to the ring, title in hand. "Now I've watched the footage of the severe beating of the chairman of this company several times, and I'd have to say I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted with what happened last week. So as the WWE Champion, I felt that it was my responsibility to come out here and make a statement on behalf of the company. And that statement is... THE CHAMP IS HERE! Now even though those Nexus lads got involved in my match, everyone knows that I would've beaten John Cena regardless. I would've proved that I am a worthy WWE Champion. I know it's unfortunate what happens, but I think that one important factor came out of this: John Cena is no longer the Number One contender to the WWE Championship, and that is because John Cena used his rematch clause last week. So what does that mean for the Celtic Warrior? Well I'll tell ya: It means no longer do I have to look at those tacky orange t-shirts, or those never-give-up slogans of his, or the lot of you chant 'Cena, Cena' every week like a bunch of parrots, and no longer do I have to listen to him make fun of my beautiful Irish skin by calling me a human jar of mayonnaise. I hate you, Cena, I hate you. You can get to the back of the queue, 'cause you're through. You're never gonna get another shot at my gold, ever again!"

Cena's music hits and he slides down to the ring and grabs a mic, but Sheamus still speaks first. "Oy! What are you doing here? I told you, you're not gonna get another shot at my WWE Championship or me again."

"Yer not gonna get another shot, I know. I didn't come out here for that. I came out here to ask you for help. Everybody saw how you won the WWE Championship, everyone saw how you kept the WWE Championship. It's thanks to that group of Jimbrones calling themselves the Nexus! They make a target out of me because I was the WWE Champion. They almost ended my career. So, Einstein, who do you think they're coming after next? It's not Don Rickles, it's the human jar of mayonnaise, Philadelphia's own giant block of cream cheese the WWE Champion himself! So why don't I cut to the chase. We don't like each other, so what? You wanna keep your WWE Championship? You wanna keep your career? Then help. Now. We start off Monday Night Raw the way we should. We fight. Not against each other, but side by side! I'm calling out the entire Nexus for a good old-fashioned brawl!"

The "email received" noise cuts the airwaves (henceforth referred to as "Boop")

Michael Cole: "Umm, excuse me guys... I believe I've received an email. If I could have everyone's attention please. I just received an email from our anonymous general manager. 'I will wait until next week to take action against the group known as Nexus, and I will wait for spokesman Wade Barrett to make his case. Until then, however, if any member of that group makes contact with any WWE Superstar, they will be terminated. However, if any WWE Superstar initiates contact tonight, they will be suspended."

Cena: "Well, thanks a bunch Mr. Anonymous General Manager. Thank you for ruining my plan. But at least we've all learned something here tonight. We've learned something about you (Sheamus). We learned that you're not just a collection of pale skin and the worst haircut I've seen since Kid n' Play (?). Although I did learn some excellent dance maneuvers. We've learned that you're a good dude. You're thinking to yourself, we should've started Monday Night Raw with a brawl, but we can't. So now we should start off Raw with a WWE Championship match!"

Boop!

Cole: "Ladies and gentlemen, the GM has informed me that WWE Champion Sheamus will be in action tonight. However his opponent will be the World's Strongest Man Mark Henry."

Cena: "BALONEY FUDGE AND MUSTARD (sic)! My life is ruined by the internet. I haven't been this pissed off since my mom cancelled my subscription to Warcraft! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YersIyzsOpc) Michael Cole, you listen up and you listen good. You have this anonymous General Manager email me personally! My address is... umm... my address is candypants64@gmail.org. It's a nonprofit thing I did..."

Boop!

Cole: "The general manager has informed me that the WWE is introducing a new PPV concept called Money in the Bank. There will be a match from Raw and a match from Smackdown. The eight Raw participants will be revealed tonight. For now, he would like to demonstrate!"

Sheamus: "He can demonstrate all he wants, I'm outta here."

Sheamus starts to leave and as he is walking up the ramp a cage descends upon the ring.

Cole: "The general manager has informed me that since last week's match ended inconclusively, Sheamus will defend at Money in the Bank in a match designed to prevent any interference. It will be a steel cage match!"

Cena's music hits as the show goes to commercial.

Did You Know that an unidentified WWE Employee once fucked a transvestite?

The Hart Dynasty are on their way to the ring when the Usos la them out. Whatever match was to happen seems unlikely as they make their way up the ramp. Tamina darts back and throws Natalya in the ring and Superfly Splashes her in the middle of the ring before exiting once again. The Dynasty struggle to their feet and run to help Natalya.

Josh Matthews ask R-Truth what should be done about Nexus. He says that they're acting like a bunch of animals, so they shouldn't be fired, they should be left at the WWE zoo, because Truth's the zookeeper.

Slam of the night brought to you by Airbender is the dance-off from Viewer's Choice. Kozlov is in the ring.

Match One: Vladmir Kozlov vs. Santino Marella (if Santino wins, Kozlov agrees to tag with him)

Santino with a rear grab, no effect. He punches Kozlov and gets caught. Santino goes for some kind of submission, Kozlov rolls out, arm trap headbutts, throw, two-count, bearhug, Santino powers out with a Judo throw, Kozlov responds with a spinebuster and pins him.

Winner: Vladmir Kozlov

Kozlov helps Santino up, then drops him (literally, just drops him) as William Regal congratulates him on the ramp before sliding in and beating down Santino before Kozlov takes him out with a big boot. Kozlov helps Santino up properly and carries him to the back.

Josh Matthews has another interview with Khali. He asks the same question, Singh translates, Khali responds (coherently), and Singh translates the response as "I'm a big dumb giant and my manager is really sick of protecting me. If the group came now, I'd run like a little girl."

Justin Roberts introduces Rob Zombie, who comes out wearing an epic Lou Reed shirt.

"What's up Philadelphia? Come on, scream! I am here for one reason: I love sick and twisted things, including the kind of sick and twisted things that happen here, such as maybe a Money in the Bank ladder match? I have the eight participants: Randy Orton, The Miz, R-Truth, Chris Jericho, Evan Bourne, Ted Dibiase, John Morrison, oh man... this guy... Edge."

Edge comes on the screen, "Hey Supercreep. I haven't talked to you since I called you personally to tell you I was dumping your song personally as my entrance theme."

Zombie: "Hey, I wanna clear the record. I took back my song because I didn't want it associated with you any more. You didn't dump me, I dumped you. That's all I have to say, glad I'm here to say it to you, goodbye."

Edge: "That's it? Did I scare away the horror director? Did I scare away the Astrocreep? It doesn't matter, all that matters is that I won the first Money in the Bank and cashed it in on John Cena to win my first WWE Title. Don't remember? Let's take a look, shall we?" A replay airs of the first match and the cashing in. "Yeah, I did that. I did it and I had so much fun doing it that I did it years later on the Undertaker. That's what I meant last week when I said now the fun begins. I own the Money in the Bank. You know what happens to a viper who runs into a guy with a 20-foot ladder? He gets his head crushed before he can even strike. I'm going to do that to everyone in the match, and by the end they'll all be staring up at me."

A boop informs the world that Edge, The Miz, Ted Dibiase and Chris Jericho will face Evan Bourne, R-Truth, John Morrison and Randy Orton in an eight-man tag. Mark Henry is on his way to the ring as the show goes to commercial.

Match Two: Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Sheamus is already in the ring, Henry makes his entrance flanked by Lucky Cannon. Lockup, Sheamus clubs Henry before being shoved off. Sheamus boots Henry and DDTs him for a two-count. He drops a pair of knees then clubs him in the chest before getting another two-count. He sinks in a chinlock, Henry stands up and backs him into a corner before sustaining a boot. Sheamus charges, then once more but is taken down. Henry with a whip, Sheamus nails him, goes off the ropes, Henry with a clothesline. Henry with a splash for two when Sheamus gets a foot in the ropes. Sheamus bails and is press-slammed back into the ring before hitting a bicycle kick for the three-count.

Winner: Sheamus

Apparently the kick is called the Brogue Kick. Any objections if I don't call it that?

The Nexus are backstage and Josh Matthews asks how they feel about their restrictions. Michael Tarver responds that it goes both ways, so they can still make an impact. They then take out a camera man, and joke that they'll do the same to Matthews before walking off.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring promoting a new DVD, but before he gets to what it is, he introduces a "coming attraction". It's the Ricky Steamboat DVD. I guess that is the DVD he's talking about. The original American Dragon himself comes out to the ring. Lawler says that before they talk about the DVD, some people in the back wanted to pay respects. Mike Rotunda, Michael Hayes, Arn Anderson and Dean Malenko enter.

Malenko: "I just wanted to say it's an honour to share this moment. I can't wait to get home, sit on my couch and watch some of the greatest matches of your career. Although for most of them I wasn't even born."

Rotunda: "I just wanted to say, a piece of friendly advice, when all this money comes rolling in, be sure to pay the taxes on it."

Hayes: "I didn't really know you that well, I haven't gotten much camera time in the last 3-4 years, I just came out to do this." Hayes busts out one of his classic dances.

Anderson: "There's a billion dollars worth of talent in the ring, and then you guys. We must've wrestled 100 times, and I didn't win one of them, but every time we got in the ring we made something special happen. They'll always talk about the top five guys in this business, and I don't know who was better, but it's going to take more than three DVDs to hold all of your classic matches."

Steamboat: "Well, all you guys, I wanna personally thank all of you, I wanna personally thank you, the WWE Universe, for nearly 40 years--"

The Nexus are out. The veterans in the ring prepare for a fight as the rookies make their way very slowly up the ramp. Wade Barrett of course not there as he is at WWE Headquarters. The legends keep the rookies at bay for a bit before Slater breaks through and is beat down, then Tarver. Anderson is dragged out and beaten down, and the standoff continues before IRS suffers the same fate. Tarver sneaks in the back and the brawl is on with the Nexus quickly gaining the upper hand and taking out Steamboat. The ring is again clear except for Hayes, Steamboat and Lawler. Isn't Lawler a WWE Superstar? The rookies finally fill the ring and carnage ensues. Lawler is the first tossed out but eventually all the legends are beaten down. Steamboat is the last one left in the ring, surrounded by Nexus. They dare him to strike. Finally he does to some avail before quickly being taken down. Heath Slater drags him up as Otunga hits his one move (Spinebuster). Sheffield charges him with a clothesline and the other Nexus members drag him to the corner where Gabriel sets up for the 450 splash, hesitates, then hits it. Satisfied, Nexus leaves the five legends crumpled in and around the ring.

The first thing that greets us back after commercial is a replay of what just happened. Steamboat is being helped out on a stretcher as Cole marks the unfortunate apparent distinction between Legends and Superstars. The show goes back to commercial.

Did You Know John Cena's favourite food is the tears of virgins?

Match Three: Maryse and Alicia Fox vs. Eve and Gail Kim

Not again! Fox starts off with kicks to Eve, then slaps. Eve punches, off the ropes, Fox with a rollup, two, knee to the face, pulls her up, whip to the corner, splash, snapmare of sorts for two, drags her up again, Maryse in, kick, grabs her by the hair and covers for two. Smacks her head against the turnbuckle, Fox in, stomp, drags her up, whip, charges, dodge, Kim in, clothesline, another, hurricanrana, punch, whip, reverved, Kim reverses a body slam attempt into a splash for two, diving stomp, Fox bails, Eve nails her, Maryse in illegally, Kim nails her, Fox with the scissors kick for the win.

Winners: Alicia Fox and Maryse

The winners exchange cold congratulations before they hype the main event up next and go to commercial.

Following the commercial is another replay of the beatdown by Nexus last week. Are they ever going to actually explain any of this?

Main Event: Eight Man Tag: Edge, Chris Jericho, The Miz and Ted Dibiase (with Maryse) vs. Randy Orton, John Morrison, R-Truth and Evan Bourne

For some reason the briefcase is hanging above the ring and there's a ladder leading to it. Edge poses atop the ladder as Jericho makes his entrance. Miz is out (meaning the heel team actually came out in the order I wrote above. That was totally unintentional) followed by Dibiase. R-Truth is the first face out (damn...) followed by John Morrison, then Bourne. Morrison pulls a ladder from under the ring as Randy Orton makes his entrance last. The show goes to one final commercial.

Jomo and Dibiase to start off the match. Dibiase with a boot and a clubbing fist. Stomps in the corner and a whip, reversed, Morrison with a back body drop. Truth in, punches, arm breaker blocked, Dibiase charges and is launched out of the ring. Bourne takes him out on the apron with a flying kick, takes him back in, nails more kicks (I guess he's legal), two-count, Dibiase with a shot tags in Miz, who takes an arm drag, takes control, then takes a boot. Bourne nails him one more time before covering for two. Whip to the corner, Bourne hits a splash, I think it was Dibiase who gets the cheap shot on Bourne, Jericho in, guillotine in the corner, tosses him out, Orton poses (no lie). Slides out of the ring and tosses Bourne in the ring, slapping him in the back of the head. Holds his leg to prevent a tag and tags in Miz himself. Stomp, another, drops a knee to the back, elbows to the trapezeus, boot, chinlock, Bourne powers out, Miz goes for a suplex, blocked, Jomo in, clotheslines, whip to the corner, flying dropkick, Dibiase pulls Miz out, Morrison dives on both of them, Edge takes advantage, Miz slides back in and the show goes to commercial.

Back on, Jericho is in control of John Morrison after nailing him with a ladder during the break. Foot choke and a guillotine in the ropes. Jomo with a rollup for two. Jericho with a dropkick for two. Edge in, boot, drops down on his hand, Jomo with fists as he makes his way to his feet. Edge trips him and tags in Dibiase who drops a sledge on his back. Dibiase kicks him in the face in the corner and whips him into the same corner. Knees, Morrison punches his way out and into a powerslam by Dibiase for three. Chinlock with the arm trapped by Dibiase, tags in Edge who stomps him. Drags him up, whip to the corner, boot by Morrison, boot by Edge, sets up for the spear and misses. Morrison goes for a tag, Edge goes for Morrison. Morrison with a kick to the head, doesn't move until both men tag out. Jericho and Bourne in, head scissors and dropckick by Bourne, then a heel kick. Spinning boot by Bourne for two. Goes up top, Jericho tries for a superplex and fails, Bourne misses Air Bourne, Codebreaker, Dibiase and Orton in. Orton with the RKO for three!

Winners: Randy Orton, John Morrison, R-Truth and Evan Bourne

Edge takes out Orton and Bourne then gets a ladder which he strikes Truth with. Morrison and Bourne drop Edge then Jericho. Bourne dives over the rope with Morrison's assistance and nails Jericho. Miz nails Morrison and starts to climb the ladder before Orton pushes it over. Orton climbs the ladder himself and the show ends with the briefcase in Orton's hands.