Date: 09/28	8:00 PM
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Rev. Al Sharpton? You read it right, the controversial left-wing civil rights leader will be using WWE Raw tonight as a platform to increase our social awareness while John Cena runs the Gauntlet against Randy Orton, Big Show and Chris Jericho. Oh, and welcome Justin Roberts as our new ring announcer! The action starts in a few minutes, join us in the LIVE AngryMarks.com/chat room for on-going discussion!

So, let me just say this... I think tonight's Raw is going to suck. Rev. Sharpton is not going to have anything to do with any of the programming, the wrestling will be forgettable because all of the focus is going to be on this gauntlet match, and the sooner we get past this fucking FAIL of a show, the better. But, big up to the fan who brought the "I CAME TO SEE MICKIE JAMES" sign, some weeks she's the only reason I watch Raw. Speaking of which, Mickie called me a few weeks ago about a big new project I'll be working on with her, but I can't say anything more for now! 

We start off tonight's show with a fresh edition of the V.I.P. Lounge with Montel Vontaveous Porter and co-host "the World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry. Porter introduces us to the show, and starts to introduce tonight's guest host when they are so rudely interrupted by the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions, Big Show & Chris Jericho. They just walk right through the ropes, security doesn't check them. As Michael Cole points out, though, "Then again, who is really going to stop them?"

"Shame on you, MVP! How dare you give an introduction like that to a man of Rev. Al Sharpton's statue! Instead of calling him a guest host, you should call him the most prominent civil right's leader of all time!" This leads off to Porter and Jericho dueling about how many accolades and credits they're going to give to Sharpton. Porter and Jericho then simultaneously introduce Rev. Sharpton.

And here he comes... wearing a wrinkled dress shirt, untucked, baggy pants? C'mon, Rev! You could have at least dressed up! The crowd start booing Rev. Sharpton, which gets the comment "Wow, this is a tough crowd!" Rev. Sharpton promotes a series of discussions that he's spearheading, starting tomorrow, which involve several private individuals and former and current government officials.

Porter interjects, "We need some reform right here on Raw, and I'm talking about the new Unified Tag Team Champions! I'm thinking that because you are the guest host, and what you say goes, Mark Henry and I can face 'Beauty & the Beast', 'JeriShow', tonight in addition to the tag team match we have at the pay-per-view."

Jericho cuts off Porters comments. "First of all, surrounded by hypocrites and parasites, surrounded by people who no morals, I don't care what you think of myself or this man, but we can't compete tonight because we're already in a Gauntlet Match against John Cena. ON top of that, these two men have already had multiple shots." Jericho then starts to run down the Albany crowd, "Only I know what is best for them. And most importantly, Rev. Al, they don't deserve to be in the presence of greatness, the greatness of Big Show and Chris Jericho."

"Wait a minute," interrupts Sharpton. "We can disagree on politics, it doesn't matter. But everybody deserves an opportunity. Let me educate you! Do you people want to see a championship match on television tonight?" The crowd pop, Sharpton says, "The people have spoken, we're going to have a championship match - NEXT!" Jericho objects, "This is discrimination of the highest degree!"

And that's how we start this show. *sigh*

WWE Unified Tag Team Championship: champions "the World's Largest Athlete" Big Show & Chris Jericho vs. Montel Vontaveous Porter & "the World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry

We comeback from commercial with action already in the ring, Jericho ducks a clothesline from Porter, into a backslide for a pin, two count. Porter gets up and puts an elbow in Jericho's face, front face lock, backs up into his own corner so Mark Henry can tag in, who hits Jericho with a Double Axehandle Smash to the back, followed up with a boot on Jericho's throat as he's on the mat. Henry puts him in the corner as a set up to a big Beil Throw. Henry whips Jericho off the ropes, and Jericho does a barrel roll underneath a clothesline to escape and scramble to a tag with Big Show. The two behemoths lock up, and Henry shoves him back, showing off his power. Big Show counters with a big boot to the midsection and a series of punches that back Henry up into the corner. Big Show backs up and charges, leaps for a splash, Henry catches him, turns around and slams him into the corner, and follows up with a clothesline.Porter tags back in, lays in several punches, then bounces off the ropes a few times for some clothesline, big Show doesn't go down. Porter connects with a facebuster off the ropes, but this just pisses off Big Show and he runs over Porter with a clothesline that turns him inside-out, followed by a big knee to the midsection. Jericho tags in, punch to the midsections, but Porter fights back and connects with a clothesline, both men going down.

Porter tries for a tag, Jericho cuts him off with a boot to the midsection, then antagonizes Henry so that he is tempted to step in the ring, causing the referee to chastise him, and allowing Jericho to choke Porter over the middle rope. Big Show tags back in, applies a big side headlock as a submission, then brings him down to the mat as a side headlock takeover. Jerry Lawler points out, "This is one of the most basic moves of pro wrestling, but when it's done by Big Show it could end up being a finishing maneuver!" Big Show lets him go, only to step on top of Porter to tag in Jericho. Jericho arrogantly kicks Porter in the head and slaps his head. Porter responds with some rights, bounces off the ropes, and Jericho just stands his ground and delivers a stiff elbow. Jericho follows up with the Lionsault, Porter rolls out of the way, Jericho predictably crashes and burns. Hot tag made by Porter, Henry clotheslines Jericho a few times, clotheslines Big Show off the apron, headbutts Jericho and then lifts him up in a Gorilla Press Slam and throws him out of the ring on top of Big Show, and we're going to another commercial.

Henry slams Jericho to the mat as we come back to action, cover and a two count. Henry whips Jericho off the ropes and hits him with a chest bump that sends Jericho the mat, but he didn't see the blind tag from Big Show, who takes down Henry with a big spear. Big Show then stomps on Henry several times, hits a splash on Henry, cover and a two count. Big Show delivers a head butt to Henry that puts him in enemy territory, followed by a boot from Big Show. Big Show then antagonizes Porter, referee Charles Robinson again tied up with taking care of the guy on the apron, allowing Jericho to attack Henry in the corner, followed by Big Show clotheslining Henry to the mat. Big Show continues his assault with several elbows to Henry's left arm, then an armbar to put pressure eon the elbow and shoulder. Henry works his way to his feet, tries to out-slug Big Show, but that doesn't work when Big Show counters with a trio of head butts and a DDT, cover that only gets a two count.

Jericho tags in, swaggers into the ring, kicks Henry in the face. Jericho runs over and nails Porter with a reverse elbow, once again referee gets tied up with Porter. Jericho kicks Henry in the face, then applies a sleeper hold. Henry's head is so big that Jericho can't quite gets his arms all the way around, which means that Henry can still build up some energy to stand up, with Jericho hanging off his back, and backing into the corner to break the hold. Henry tries to turn around and charge Jericho, Jericho smartly counters with a drop toe hold that sends Henry head-first into the turnbuckle. Jericho beats him up a little before tagging Big Show back in. Show whips him off the ropes and the two men collide with clotheslines, taking each other out.

Hot tags made, Porter ducks Jericho's clothesline, belly-to-belly suplex, a pair of clotheslines, a whip off the ropes for Jericho, he hangs onto the ropes to stop his momentum but gets a standing dropkick to the face, followed by a pin attempt. Porter with a big clothesline off the ropes that sets up the BALLIN~! elbow drop, cover, hook of the leg, two count. Porter sets up for the Playmaker, Big Show steps in the ring and attacks Porter from behind. Henry runs in and levels Big Show with a shoulder block that sends Big Show out of the ring to the outside. Jericho follows up with a drop kick on Henry sending him out. Porter capitalizes by rolling up Jericho for a schoolboy, cover and a two count. Jericho whips Porter off the ropes, goes for a hip toss, Porter floats through and connects with an armdrag, goes for the pin again, two count. Porter gets up to bounce off the ropes, Big Show clubs Porter in the back from the floor, Jericho follows up with the Codebreaker, and that's all it took.

WINNERS: Chris Jericho & Big Show. JeriShow will face Dave Batista & Rey Mysterio for the titles on Sunday. But they still have another match to face later tonight against John Cena in the gauntlet match. The bumper WWE just ran, though... "More people visit WWEUNIVERSE.COM than Facebook, MySpace and Twitter." REALLY? REALLY? ComSource said so? I'm calling BULLSHIT on that. I'm also calling bullshit on this segment involving Al Sharpton, Santino Marella, Hornswoggle, Chris Masters and Chavo Guerrero, Jr. Oh, and Primo Colon. A bunch of bullshit going on, Rev. Al throws them all out. I couldn't even pay attention to it all. But that's burned through 40 minutes of this show.

Justin Roberts in the back with Randy Orton. Orton says that Cena doesn't stand a chance to survive tonight's match, but says that if he does manage to do so, he'll face much worse this Sunday, goes on about how grueling the match is, how Cena will struggle and how Orton will dominate because he knows how this type of match works. Same bullshit we've been hearing for three weeks. Alicia Fox and Rosa Mendes are seen walking towards the ring as we take another break.

WWE Divas Champion Mickie James vs. Rosa Mendes (w/ Alicia Fox) (non-title match)

We get a standard collar-and-elbow tie-up, James takes it into a side headlock takeover, Mendes counters with a headscissor, James escapes and takes Mendes down with an armdrag. Mendes counters with a knee to the midsection, whips James into the corner. James tries to float-over but Mendes isn't in position and James ends up sitting on her. James tries to finish off Mendes with the Laree DDT, but Alicia Fox screams like a banshee at ringside and distracts her. James instead hits a swinging neckbreaker, cover and a two count. James whips Mendes off the ropes, ducks down, Mendes with a hair mare and some kicks, followed by a pin for a two count.

Mendes with a reverse chinlock with a knee to the back, then pulls back on the arms to try to force a submission. James struggles to her feet, then whips Mendes around to break the hold. Mendes back on her feet, charges James from behind and throws her chest-first into the corner, then does some sort of weird slam into the corner. James counters with several stiff elbows, followed by a hurracanrana - pausing to glare at Alicia Fox at ringside. James with a few clotheslines, whips Mendes, gets reversed, James ducks under the clothesline, tries for an armdrag but Mendes fucks it up again, resulting in James falling. She covers it up with a Thesz Press from her knees, referee breaks up the punching because she was sitting on Mendes hair? Ugh.

Alicia Fox gets on the apron, James runs over and grabs her by her hair. Mendes tries to attack from behind, but James ducks out of the way and Mendes gets hung up between the ropes. James pulls her out and finishes her with the Mick Kick.

WINNER: Mickie James. James will go on Sunday to compete against Alicia Fox for the WWE Divas Championship. Thank GOD this match is over, though. I thought Mendes was better than this, but two botched spots on her part is just BAD. Send her back to FCW for some more training, please. Commercial!

Legacy vs. D-Generation X Promo

Legacy now comes out after the break for their promo for this Sunday's PPV match. Ted DiBiase, Jr. takes the mic first. "We get it, don't worry, we get it. Nobody expects us to win this Sunday. Nobody expects us to beat D-Generation X inside that cell. But you should. Because if you look at what we've done over the last few weeks to D-Generation X, you will see that we are primed for the single greatest victory in our careers, and the single worst defeat in the careers of D-Generation X. So for those of you with a short attention span, or those of you who don't remember, or more likely, those of you who have chosen to forget, take a look at this!"  We go to the TitanTron for a montage of beat-downs by Legacy on D-X over the last two months.

Cody Rhodes follows up, "Every single one of those moments, what they have in common is that nobody expected us to do any of those things. Shawn Michaels and Triple H, D-Generation X, are two of the greatest superstars walking the face of this earth. For over a decade Monday Night Raw has been their sandbox. Triple H is a thirteen-time champion, he's a sure-fire first ballot hall-of-famer. But, after this Sunday, Triple H can go ahead and get his cozy corner office ready at Titan Towers in Connecticut with his relatives and get ready for the rest of what his career would be. Shawn Michaels... I've been in the ring with the 'Showstopper', I've felt him, and I can tell you without a doubt that he's the greatest ring performer to ever breathe. He came back from a broken back to have the greatest matches of all time. It's the stuff of legends, but the story will have a tragic conclusion after this Sunday as Ted and I stand over the broken heap of what was Shawn Michaels. What you don't understand is that we won't be locked inside that cell with D-X, it's that D-X will be locked inside with US!"

"BOOOOR-ING!" shouts Shawn Michaels over the P-A system. DiBiase says, "Time is running out for you two!" Triple H chimes in, "You know what, Shawn, this isn't half bad!" The cameras focus in on D-X in a skybox commentating." DiBiase points up in the stands and says, "You guys are funny, up there telling jokes! But don't mistake us, we see right through you! You're trying to take the sting out of us beating you!" Triple H laughs and says, "Let me tell you why we're making fun of you!" Michaels stops him and says, "Choose your words, remember, this is a PG show!" Triple H says, "You two are like butts, but not so much the cheeks as much as the round center part. And the second reason we make fun of you guys is... lemmie see, how can I explain this in a way you understand. Oh, I know, Cody you're a comic book nerd, right? So you know the Ultimate Hulk, right, and his alter-ego Bob Barker..." Michaels corrects him, it's Bruce Banner. Triple H continues, "Anyway, you know how when everything is cool and calm, the monster stays away, but when Bruce Banner gets upset, the monster comes out!"

Cody Rhodes cuts him off, "You can use whatever reasoning you like. The truth is, Ted and I can't wait.." which causes Michaels to respond, "Whoa, don't cut him off, he isn't finished" Triple H finishes, "Yeah, that's kinda rude! As I was going to say, unlike Bruce Banner, we LIKE it when the monster comes out. And, as a matter of fact, why wait until this Sunday?" Triple H & Shawn Michaels throw down their mics, leave the skybox and exit through the crowd to the ring as their music starts up.  Legacy leaves the ring and into the crowd as D-X gets inside the ring area and slides into the ring. Triple H poses on the turnbuckles daring them to get in. Michaels takes another mic, "What a shock... what a shock... after all the talk... here we stand, ready to go, yet there you go, running away." Triple H follows up, "Enjoy this distance that there is between us, guys, because this Sunday a cell is going to lower around the four of us. There will be no running, there will be no hiding, and we won't be joking! This Sunday for the two of you it's going to be PURE HELL!"  Legacy leave for the back as D-X 's music plays.

"The All-American American" Jack Swagger vs. Evan "Air" Bourne

Swagger comes out with his swagger, and with the United States Championship belt wrapped around his waist. In case you forgot, Swagger is not the US Champ, but ended up with the title because he stole it from Mike "the Miz" Mizanin, who tried to steal it from champion Kofi Kingston last week during Swagger's match against Kingston. Kingston will defend the United States championship against both Swagger and Mizanin this Sunday in a three-way match.

Bell rings, and Bourne has to look up into Swagger's face as they stare down. Bourne tries for a reverse waistlock, but Bourne picks him up and slams him on the mat, then tries to throw him out of the ring Bourne holds on to the ropes, tries a flying headscissor takeover on Swagger, but Swagger cuts him off, then grabs a leg and slams Bourne's knee into the mat a few times. Swagger then grabs the foot, puts his own foot into the back of Bourne's knee, and then pulls backwards on it, trying to dislocate the knee. Bourne eventually is able to reach the ropes to break the hold, Bourne gets kicked in the head by Swagger, sending him out of the ring. Swagger reaches through the ropes to grab Bourne by the head, Bourne counters with a Pele Kick.

Bourne quickly gets back into the ring, Swagger tries to charge him, Bourne ducks it and rolls up Swagger for a quick pin attempt. Swagger with a few clotheslines, cover and a two count. Bourne tries to pick up Swagger, Swagger just packs him over his shoulders to slam him, Bourne escapes. Swaggers tries for a Gutwrench Powerbomb, Bourne swings up on Swagger's shoulders, leaps to the turnbuckles, then nails Swagger with a pair of knees to the chest into a pin attempt. More flying by Bourne (so fast that I can't keep up), tries for a roll-up, Swagger rolls through it, with Bourne's legs still wrapped around his legs, and finishes off Bourne with a power bomb.

WINNER: Jack Swagger.  Swagger takes the mic and puts the US title on his shoulder. "Let's face it... I have the look, I have the talent, I even already have the gold! So, in a few short days at the Hell in a Cell pay-per-view, I will officially become 'The All-American American' United States Champion!" And when I do..."

Well, we'll never get that answer, because Mike "the Miz" Mizanin comes out to interrupt. "Really, Jack? Really? You're going to become the next United States Champion? Really? Let me ask you something, Jack. Which 2009 draft pick has made the most impact since coming to Raw? Me. Who has been the most unpredictable? Me. Who has turned more heads? Me. Who's the next United States champion? ME. You know it... I know it... Kofi knows it... everybody in this arena knows it. LOOK AT ME SWAGGER! This is what a champion looks like! because I'm the Miz, and I'm awesome, look at me!"

Miz points his finger in Swagger's face, Swagger tries to take him down, but Mizanin side-steps him and potato sacks him in the ring, and the two men start brawling all over the place. Kofi Kingston calmly walks out, takes his title, walks back up the ramp and holds up his title. When his music starts booming over the P-A system, Mizanin and Swagger break up their fight, turn around and realize what just happened to them.

Santino Marella & Hornswoggle vs. "the Masterpiece" Chris Masters & Chavo Guerrero, Jr.

We now go back to boycotting matches involving Hornswoggle & Chavo Guerrero. We now turn it to Monday Night Football, where the game is currently Carolina Panthers 7, Dallas Cowboys 3, 9:20 of the 3rd quarter. The Cowboys just came up with a big QB sack and a stop on 2nd down, third down Delhomme makes an 8-yd pass, but it's not enough and Carolina is going to have to punt. Nice long kick, caught at the 24, Dallas gets about 15 yards on it.

Fuck, commercial. back to wrestling, Marella got a nice hip toss on Guerrero, but Masters gets the blind tag, runs in and locks in the Masterlock on Marella, swinging him around until he passes out.

WINNERS: Chris Masters & Chavo Guerrero, Jr. After the match, Masters snatches up Hornswoggle and kills him with the Masterlock after Guerrero told him to finish him off. But after he's done, Guerrero steps in the ring and then nails him in the back of the head with a punch, then leaves the ring. Masters gets up, starts to go after Guerrero, but then just stops, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. Anyhow, Dallas just took the lead with a nice touchdown run.

And speaking of Monday Night Football... BIG BEN ROTHLISBERGER is bringing the Pittsburgh Steelers to Monday Night Raw as guest host next week. How interesting. Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler now in the ring to run down Sunday's WWE Hell in a Cell PPV:

• World Heavyweight Championship: champion CM Punk vs. Undertaker
• Unified Tag Team Championship: champions Big Show & Chris Jericho vs. Dave Batista & Rey Mysterio, Jr.
• D-Generation X vs. Legacy
• WWE Championship: champion John Cena vs. Randy Orton
• WWE Divas Championship: champion Mickie James vs. Alicia Fox
• WWE United States Championship: champion Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mike Mizanin

Backstage, Rev. Al Sharpton tries to thank the fans for watching tonight, when Jillian Hall runs in and says that since Sharpton was the godson of entertainer James Brown (R.I.P.), maybe he could be her new music manager. She tries to sing Brown's "Living in America", and Sharpton politely turns her down. The Bella Twins then run in and conjecture that since he was Brown's godson, that maybe he can show them how to dance and sing. Brown says that maybe if they can team together to smack down the illiteracy rate in America, he can go back to Washington and they can party. Or something. Fuck, I can't pay attention to this shit.

Huh. Astro Boy is going to be a movie? This looks COOL! Much more cool than this wrestling program.

Three-on-One Gauntlet Match: WWE Champion John Cena vs. Chris Jericho, Big Show & Randy Orton

For those who are not familiar with this match, this match usually occurs because the babyface gets tricked into it, or an evil general manager forces them into it. In tonight's case, it ended up being the stipulation of Cena's loss in a six-man tag from last week. Cena now must defeat each of these men individually in order to win the match... six days before the pay-per-view. Possibly the most brutal pay-per-view of his life. So why would he not just take a count-out and refuse to fight, instead saving his strength? It's not like he can lose his title because of it. It doesn't make any sense, I know, but fuck me, I have to recap it. At least you don't have to watch it. Hopefully you're not. I feel sorry for you if you do.

Bell rings and Cena faces Jericho first, Cena pulls him over into a side headlock on the mat, goes for a pin, Jericho escapes, applies his own side headlock. Cena drives him into the corner, referee has to force a break. Jericho charges, Cena with a drop toe hold, but Jericho back up and takes down Cena with a clothesline. Jericho follows up with kicks and elbows to the head, then a choke over the middle rope. Jericho whips Cena off the ropes and connects with a reverse elbow to the face, covers, two count. Jericho with a sleeper hold, Cena powers up to his feet, picks up Jericho on his shoulder for the Attitude Adjustment, Jericho escapes, rolls up Cena and punches him, then sets him up for a catapult, sending Cena neck-first into the bottom ring rope. Cena gets to his feet, Jericho charges, Cena ducks him, hits a pair of shoulder blocks, the side slam and then sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, followed by the Attitude Adjustment. Jericho with an elbow into the face, rolls out, grabs the ankle, pulls Cena down and flips him over into the Walls of Jericho. Cena crawls to the ropes and gets the rope break. Jericho refuses to break and the referee counts him out. Jericho still refusing to break after the bell, Cena is tapping the mat, writhing in pain. Referee is trying to tug on Jericho and he refuses to release.

Big Show's music plays as he comes out for his part of the match, and Jericho finally releases and leaves the ring, referee starts the match. Big Show walks around the ring, picks up Cena and puts him face-first into the corner, then punches him in the kidneys. Chis Jericho at ringside telling Big Show to stay on him and we go to commercial. We come back and Big Show is still punching on Cena. Cena eventually comes up with a DDT to knock Big Show on his ass, then picks up Big Show for the Attitude Adjustment. Jericho runs in and attacks Cena from behind, drawing another DQ.  Big Show steps over Cena and chokes him out with the Colossal Clutch.

Referee gets the ring cleared as Randy Orton makes his entrance, and Cena is flailing on the mat, half conscious, trying to pull himself up as the referee checks on him. Cena finally sits up and motions for Orton to just get in the ring and finish him. Yes, please, just finish this shit already. Cena pulls himself up by the ropes as the bell rings, Orton takes his time. Cena is able to stare Orton in the face, steadies himself, then raises his finger... and we see the Hell in a Cell that has been posing above the ring all night. Randy Orton looks up, then around, and Cena takes him down by a leg and wraps him up, Orton desperately trying to escape, realizing that he's been set up! Orton finally kicks free, rolls out of the ring, scrambles to the floor... AND HE DOES NOT MAKE IT OUT IN TIME!

Cena gets to his feet, rubs his hand, looks around the ring... then behind him... as the cage to the cell is still open. Orton looks at the door as well. Orton slowly walks around the ring, thinking and wondering if he can escape. Cena is grinning big, just waiting for Orton to make his escape. Orton dashes, and Cena cuts him off, grinning and mouthing, "If you want it... earn it!"

Orton takes a swing, Cena beats him down, Orton escapes through the door, but Cena chases him down, tries to pick him up for the Attitude Adjustment. Orton claws at the cage and scrambles to the top. Cena decides to scramble up after him! Wow... and now they're facing down each other at the top of the cage, they're swinging, Cena ducks a punch and picks up Orton in the Attitude Adjustment and delivers! Orton writhes in pain, Cena holds up his arms and screams! Cena drops to his hands and knees and gets in Orton's face, taunting him! Cena stands up and looks around the arena as his music plays, fans on their feet cheering.

I must admit, quite a damn interesting swerve for the main event, a genuine mark-out moment. But will "Win on Monday, lose on Sunday" play true for this week's PPV? We'll find out, I guess. See ya later kids!