Nickolye's WWE Raw Live Recap w/ Rowdy Roddy Piper
Written by Nickolye Time for the Raw recap. Join us in the AngryMarks chat room for all the discussion! We open the show with Piper's Pit with actor Luis Guzman. Piper finds out that Guzman is a chef, so he calls for the Iron Chef himself... but instead we get The Iron Sheik! He mouths off about Hulk Hogan and even uses action figures to demonstrate the beating he would give to Hogan. The Bella Twins show up as well, and they all chime in to say, "Live from New York, it's Monday Night Raw!" Very shitty. But what's not shitty is the new theme song and opening video for Raw. Since the show is at Madison Square Garden the superstars come out of a different entrance, right across camera view. * United States Championship: The Miz {C} vs. MVP The Miz comes out and gets immediate boos! He cuts a promo about the New York crowd. He asks for his opponent to come out and it's Montel Vontavious Porter! As MVP makes his entrance we see Sherri Shephard front row cheering her man on. The action goes back and forth, MVP hits his BALLIN~! elbow, but Miz still kicks out. Eventually Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale to retain his title. WINNER and STILL United States Champion: The Miz. Breaktime. * Chavo Guerrero vs. Santino Marella Chavo comes out and we see highlights of him getting "knocked out" by Ricky Hatton last week. Santino comes out and gets in the ring, then we removes several sports jerseys (including the NY Giants, NY Mets, the Phillies, and finally the NY Yankees) before the bell rings. Reading Chavo's lips he says, "Are you done?" Chavo hits the Three Amigos right away and climbs up top. Santino rolls away so Chavo goes to another turnbuckle. Hornwoggle (still wearing D-X gear) shows his ugly mug and distracts Chavo, allowing Santino to roll him up for the pin. WINNER: Santino Marella. Here comes D-Generation X! Triple H gets on the mic and hypes up the crowd, even though they're cheering their heads off already. HHH says they want to do their usual plugging and merch shilling, but he says not tonight. Shawn Michaels continues, all the while still plugging the new book. HHH wants to talk about "the big fat elephant in the room" - John Cena. HHH tells everybody that D-X are not going to implode in the triple threat match at Survivor Series; and he says D-X will still be a unit. Shawn Michaels and Triple H turn their attention to "a member of the midget community" - Hornswoggle. Triple H says if Horn comes out they will make him an honorary member of D-Generation X. Out comes the midget, he gets in the ring and chops over and over and over and over... until HHH says, "Stop it. You wanna be a member of D-X? Act like a big boy and get in line. I gotta know one thing - are you ready. No New York, I said ARE.. YOU.. READY?! Then, for the thousands in atttendance, and the millions watching around the world. And for Hornswoggle, a little man who showed through perserverance and determination can make the smallest of big dreams come true. LLLLLLLLLLet's get ready to..." and he sets Hornswoggle up for the Pedigree! Stalling... building suspense... PLANTS HIM! The crowd boos D-X heavily. Michaels continues, "And if you're not down with that, we got two words for ya!" (SUCK IT!) The crowd still goes along with it even though they were booing Triple H for dropping the midget. In the chat room Stevie J marks out saying EPIC WIN, and I have to agree! D-X pull out a stretcher and place Hornswoggle on it and carry him out. Breaktime. When we come back, The King plugs Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind" song from the album The Blueprint 3. Video package of WWE's memorable events in Madison Square Garden follows, set to the Jay-Z song. Standing ovation for the video package. Backstage, Chris Jericho gets in Roddy Piper's face, like he does with every guest host. Piper interrupts him by blowing his nose! Chris Masters enters the room, Piper has music play. Masters makes his pecs jump to the beat of the Black Eyed Peas "Boom Boom Pow." Jericho has a disgusted look on his face as Piper, Masters and the Twins leave. We then see Black Eyed Peas in the crowd. The Divas Title goes on the line after this next commercial break. Judah Friedlander comes out to guest ring announcer. Don't ask, I don't know why he is. * WWE Divas Championship: Melina {C} vs. Alicia Fox Fox wants to be announced as the next Divas Championship. Judah says he came for two reasons: 1) To watch Melina's entrance, and; 2) to announce this is a Lumberjill Match for the title. All the "lumberjills" are invovled in the elimination tag match at survivor Series. Melina is one step ahead of Fox until she gets sent out the ring, where the heel divas attack her. Back and forth action ensues, then Melina hits her flip powerbomb to retain the title. WINNER and STILL WWE Divas Champion: Melina. McCool and the other heels come in the ring to attack. Mickie and the other faces come in to send them flying. Judah gets in the ring as well to celebrate with them. Lame. Coming up, Roddy Piper! BTW, WWE and USA Network have agree to FOUR MORE YEARS. Woo. * "Rowdy" Roddy Piper promo "Very cool indeed," starts Piper. "I love you too." He goes on to thank the fans and says he has not been a nice guy, and only New York could relate! He runs down the amount of people he's faced, and says "They're either bald or dead! I love 'em all, mostly the dead ones, not so much the bald ones." He says he has one more dirty, nasty job to do. And that is he wants one more match with VINCE McMAHON! He mentions Vince fired him in that very building. Piper challenges Vince to come out, and he does! Vince: "Nice dye job on the hair, Hot Rod. I suggest you've done some awful things in the Garden here. The worst thing you've ever done here in Madison Square Garden is show up here tonight. Look at Hot Rod, Mother Nature has not been too kind. When was the last time you had your check-up? You still have those toothpick arms and knobby knees. And you always had that catcher's mitt face. The only thing I suggest hasn't dried up is your kilt. If I soiled my hands with you tonight, my forefathers would be ashamed of me." Piper retaliates saying Vince's suit matches his grey hair. Vince says he's always looked better than his opponents. "So Hot Rod unless there's better competition in future, as of right now I am retired from in-ring action." Piper says being "retired" is just another word for coward. Piper says if he can beat cancer, he can beat Vince. "But let's make you accountable too, for the people that's made you a billionaire. I don't want this at a pay-per-view. I don't want this at WrestleMania. I want you tonight! You tell these people you're not retired. I wanna see if I can retire you." So Piper has challenged Vince McMahon to a Street Fight; will he accept? Piper takes his leave, and JUST as Vince says a word he was accidentally cut off! Ooh, not good for the producers. Breaktime. Next week, the guest hour for a special 3-hour "Raw Thanksgiving will be... JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA!! * Sheamus promo "Me name is Sheamus. I been here on Raw for four weeks, and I already put one man out this business. Tonight I make an impact with anyone who challenges the Celtic Warrior. So if you got the guts, come on out." Sheamus leaves the ring to get in the timekeeper's face. He shoves him across the announcer's desk into the barricade. Jerry Lawler gets up to check on him and Sheamus bicycle kicks King in the head! Sheamus finally walks away, then several referees and trainers check on the two men. They walk them to the back as we go to commercial. Matt Striker makes his way to Raw! He takes King's place on this mic. He and Michael Cole run down the card for WWE Survivor Series.
* Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger Back from break and the match is in progress. It's the power of Swagger vs. the speed of Bourne. Neither really has an advantage as they go back and forth. Bourne hits the flying knees from off the turnbuckle for a near-fall. Swagger catches him in mid-moonsault and proceeds to ram him into opposing turnbuckles, then transitions it into a gutwrench powerbomb! WINNER: Jack Swagger. Backstage we see Roddy piper walking with a purpose, as he had challenged Vince McMahon to a street fight. Will the boss accept? (Of course he will, this is Madison Square Garden!) Off to break. DID YOU KNOW fans from all 50 states and 22 countries purchased tickets to WrestleMania 26? No way!! Who cares! * Street Fight: "Rowdy" Roddy Piper vs. Mr. Vince McMahon? I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD! Here comes "the Viper" Randy Orton! "I don't know if McMahon is coming out here or not. But I do know that you have got a big problem, because I AM HERE. (Big RAN-DY OR-TON chant.) I can't think of a better way to relieve a little stress than to put you down right now. So Piper if it's a fight that you want, well..." And with that, Orton attacks him in the gut. Piper keels over, stands up and punches Randy, then gets beat down viciously. He measures up Piper, steps back, and goes for the Punt... and stops. THEN Kofi's theme song plays (a little late, might I add)! Kofi bolts out and attacks! Orton dips out the ring to escape. * Brawl: Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston Kofi follows Orton and the brawl continues. The fight eventually goes into the crowd. Orton takes him out and they gets back to ringside. Orton brings Kofi back in the ring, sets up the punt, but then Kofi stops the attempt. Eventually they go over the barricade and a bunch of zebras break them up. They still break away from the referees a few times and they continue fighting throw the crowd! Kofi tosses Randy over a railing near the production area. One fan shouts "Smash him through the table!" Kofi picks up a metal case and BLASTS Randy in the noggin! Orton has a cut on his head and starts bleeding a lirttle. Kofi lays him on a table and continues pounding on him. He jumps back over the railing, stands on it... but referees pull him down. Boos from the crowd as they were teased. But wait! Kofi goes back on the railing, BO! BO! Boom Drop connects to Orton's torso through a table! Awesome spot! Kofi finally shows tons of aggression with a purpose, and I hope WWE treats this emergence of Kofi's attitude properly. Commercial break. Backstage, Cena cuts a promo. He promotes tonight's main event where Jericho and Big Show (a/k/a JeriShow) will face D-Generation X. And they all will face himself and Undertaker! He goes on to talk about Survivor Series being a handicap match for his title. A stagehand hands Cena a piece of paper. Cena says he made a mistake - it won't be a handicap match, but a triple threat match. He jabbers on saying the answer to the question "Are you ready?" is YES and finishes with "The Champ, is, here!" Breaktime. * Unified Tag Team Champs Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. D-Generation X vs. WWE Champion John Cena & World Champion Undertaker [non-title match] JeriShow make their entrance before the commercial break. Back now, and by the time Undertaker makes his entrance the time is 11:05! For those who don't know, Raw usually ends at around 11:05-10. There are even DRUIDS for Taker's entrance! Apparently this is a new rule for a triple threat tag match. Instead of two men in the ring as usual, one man representing his team will face off as in triple threat rules. Cena, Jericho and Michaels start the match. Then Show tags in, along with Triple H and Taker! HHH and Taker take out Show, then fight each other. HBK tags in and faces off with Undertaker. The tension rises from their WrestleMania match earlier this year. They go at it until Big Show slides in with a spear. Jericho tags in and goes on offense. Cena and Triple H re-enter the match, then THEY face off. Cena waves his hand, HHH crotch chops, Big Show double chokeslam to both! Taker takes out Big Show, then gets whipped into the barricade. Jericho makes the pin on Cena but he kicks out. All legal men (Y2J, HHH & Cena) are downed in the ring, until HHH tags out to Michaels. Michaels with a flying forearm to Jericho, bodyslam, and the flying elbow drop connects. Michaels tunes up the band. Cena ducks the superkick then goes on offense - shoulder block, shoulder block, side slam, YOU CAN'T SEE ME, 5-Knuckle Shuffle! He picks up HBK but HHH blind tags in and delivers a high knee and a facebuster to Cena, clotheslines Jericho, and a Spinebuster to Cena! Triple H sets up the Pedigree but Big Show's back in and headbutts HHH. SWEET CHIN MUSIC to Show! Codebreaker to Michaels! Chokeslam to Jericho from the Undertaker! HHH clotheslines Taker out the ring, then turns around into Cena hitting Attitude Adjustment to win the match! WINNERS: John Cena and Undertaker. Undertaker gets back in the ring, but instead of celebrating with his teammate he delivers a Tombstone to Cena! What chaos, I love it! he grabs his championship and poses over a prone Cena. That's how Raw goes off the air, and it was a good one! Good night everybody! |
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