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WWE Superstars on WGN Live Recap


Date: 7/26:55PM
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Written by Stevie J

The show begins at 8 PM EST, 7 Central and when it does feel free to hit F5 or refresh as often as you like for the latest results.

Superstars is now on the air, and Michael Cole is on my f'n TV. Thankfully Jerry Lawler is with him. Santino Marella looks to be in our first match of the night, and he's all smiles on his way out to the ring. Santino even gives Lilian Garcia a hug when he gets there.

* Santino Marella v. The Brian Kendrick

Whatever happened to Kendrick's bodyguard Zeke? Did I miss something? I'm pretty sure I did with all the roster changes and the fact there are over a half-dozen wrestling shows on TV every week now. Kendrick fires off kicks early and Santino runs away, as the fans give Santino a crowd chant. Kendrick finally catches him and pounds his back with elbows but Santino responds with a couple of arm drags into side headlocks, which Lawler promptly coins "old school." Kendrick gets the ropes to force a clean break. Santino starts celebrating the power of the punch and Kendrick hits a knee lift to his gut. Kendrick goes to throw him out, Santino tries to skin the cat back in, and Kendrick catches him doing so and hammers his right leg. He works it over in the ring afterwards to get the heat. To get even more heat Kendrick slaps him around and yells YOU'RE A LOSER SANTINO as he tries to stand on one leg. When he's finally had enough Santino HULKS UP. Kendrick tries a back bridge pin but Santino flips him off right into a rollup for three, and he immediately starts playing the air horn! WINNER: SANTINO. He goes to shake hands with Lawler, with Cole, even with his opponent still in the ring, but Kendrick tries to take a swipe at him. "Well I tried" says Santino. He limps around the ring waving to the fans. CM Punk v. Edge is later tonight, but first these commercial messages.

* Charlie Haas v. John Morrison

Haas is already in the ring warming up when we come back from break. Tie up into the ropes for a break, but Haas hits a spinning elbow after the ref calls for separation. Morrison responds with a series of arm drags and a dropkick that sends Haas out to the floor. He leaps over the ropes and back again, keeping Haas off balance figuring out what he'll do, but when he tries to bring Haas back in up the steel steps the leg is swept and Morrison starts selling the left arm and elbow. Haas gets the heat for a minute but Morrison makes a comeback with flips and kicks and finally grounds Haas long enough to hit the Starship Pain for three. WINNER: JOHN MORRISON. A simple match, well done, nothing to right home about but nothing to hate either. Zach Ryder is walking to the ring backstage as we go to commercial.

* Zach Ryder v. Tyler Reks

And here all this time I thought it was Rex with an X. I think that would actually be a better spelling - then his wrestling nickname could be T-Rex. Actually given the creativity of the writers in WWE that's probably what they were thinking when they came up with his name. Reks is overpowering Ryder early until he gets a punch right to the nose, then Ryder lays into him with stomps and kicks and posts his head into the turnbuckle. Striker and Mathews discuss the etymology of surfer slang like "tool" as the match continues. Reks hits an elbow and a faceplant but gets a jawbreaker for his efforts while Mathews decides to call this "a series of moves. Zach Attack (something of an inverted Codebreaker) gets the three count. WINNER: ZACH RYDER. I'm not sure a finisher with a knee to the back of someone's head is a good idea, but that's their call. Promo for the "SummerSlam Reading Jam" afterwards. Reminder Punk v. Edge is later in the show as we go to commercial.

Christian Cage video package when we return, putting over his wrestling prowess. This is the point in Superstars where we will time before the main event, because the undercard matches we taped before Raw and Smackdown went short. To prove my point we get a minute of useless banter between Lawler and Cole before a Raw Rebound video package airs, focused as it was on ECW on the feud between Orton and Batista. We get a reminder that Cena and Triple H will face off on Raw next Monday, and then we throw to Jim Ross and TCS for more banter - they narrate a video package of CM Punk v. Jeff Hardy from The Bash.

* CM Punk {C} v. Edge (Non-Title Match)

Punk is wearing his belt on his way to the ring and despite the slow burn heel turn there are still plenty of Punk signs and t-shirts in the crowd. Since it's only 8:38 EST we go to a commercial break at the moment he hits the ring. Edge will be out when we come back!

12 Rounds (Rated + Unrated) is promoted when we come back from break. Edge comes out wearing one title belt around his waist and carrying the other over his left shoulder. Edge pushes Punk into the corner for the start of the match, ref calls for the break. Punk tries to do the same and Edge runs and ducks under the ropes to avoid any offense. Punk fires off kicks to Edge's right leg that J.R. describes as muay thai... if you say so Jim. Punk takes him to the mat, stretches him out, then tries to roll him over for a pin. Edge is doing his best to survive the offense, and finally after a couple of minutes gets an elbow to the face. Edge tries to land on the apron, Punk sweeps the legs, then hits a baseball slide to knock Edge out to the floor. Edge finally gets on track with a big boot to the face, but the ref stops him from following up because Punk is selling his eye. The ref checks him over as the crowd starts to boo and we go to break.

During break WGN offers a prize package for 12 Rounds if you can name the year John Cena won "Royal Rumble." No, not "the Royal Rumble," they say "name the year he won Royal Rumble." I'm not sure why that sounds so bad, but it does. The next trivia question is what sport did Cena play in college. If you want to enter the contest go here.

Edge hits a flapjack when we come back for a two count. Ross describes Edge as taking advantage of the opportunity. Edge is stretching Punk out from behind but he refuses to submit. Punk gets back to his knees, then his feet, then hits a kick to the face to get free. He blocks a second boot to the face and lands the enzuguiri for a near fall. Elbow to the back of Edge's head, hold and counter into a DDT by Edge for 2.9. Edge backs up and charges for the spear but Punk turns it into a 2.9 near fall neckbreaker. Punk goes for a springboard off the ropes, Edge moves, Punk lands on his feet and turns it into a snap slam for two. Running knee hits, bulldog is blocked, Punk turns it into a G2S but Edge rakes the eyes. He falls through the ropes selling and the ref tries to hold Edge back. Punk waves his arms in front of his face and the ref calls for the bell. THE WINNER AS THE RESULT OF A FORFEIT - THE RATED R SUPERSTAR EDGE!

Punk continues selling his left eye as we go to a replay. Punk is interviewed in the ring. "My eye is a little injured right now, but that's an understatement. I don't want to forfeit anything but if I can't see I can't compete. When I'm better I'll be happy to give Edge a rematch." Doctors check over his eye, he keeps trying to hold it shut and keep doctors from touching it, and we get another replay of the eyerake. The show ends with Punk still selling and Ross saying he's never seen anybody give up quite like that.

Stay tuned for Thursday Night AMP at 11 PM EST, 10 Central.



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